It was the 1st of April 2023, when I took a picture of myself at my heaviest (weight).
A mixture of post post pregnancy, post thyroid issues, post pandemic, the beginning of my quest to taste the best canele in my hood and my experimental bread making days.
It came to a point when I was embarrassed to look into the mirror and one day, when I was at a mall, I saw my ex-school mate from a distance and my old self would have ran to him to greet him because it's been a decade since we met but I turned to the other direction, swiftly walking away and hoping that he didn't see me and no one else from my past did.
Being someone who loves having her picture taken, I didn't want to have any pictures. I don't request for it anymore and most of the clothes in my wardrobe didn't fit right.
It wasn't so much about my weight, but how I lost the self love when I unknowingly started all these emotional eating and drinking- I was drinking (not drunk) almost daily, wine was good, blue cheese, pastries, 2-3pcs of canele almost every week (on top of all the bread) all were so good.
I could say, I rewarded myself daily with lavish food.
Of course, I began to feel this new conscious self, whenever Lily sings the 3 bear song...I would pause when she gets to Mummy bear because I don't hope to hear the words "Mummy bear is chubby".
Fortunately, she got the lyrics right all the time with "Mummy bear is slim" hahaha, but yes, you know where I'm headed to right?
I came to accept the reality, I know I had to make a change.
My fit friends were encouraging me to get moving, to eat well, yada yada... all the things that I could practically work on to help me mentally as well.
Of course, I knew what I needed to do, but doing it for real...that was another thing.
Nonetheless, I heeded their advice on cutting down on my carbs intake during the weekdays but then I would cheat on weekends with all the cakes and wines and although the weight didn't drop (of cos it didn't)- I was trying to see if I really could change the way I eat.
By the end of 2023, I lost about 3kgs... I cheated less with my weekend meals... I got a hang of what balance could look like and I felt slightly better.
The New Year 2024 came, I continued trying to cut down on my food portions but I knew I needed proper guidance, a plan and a target.
A quarter of the year went by in a flash...nothing happened, all talks no action until a friend of mine, Mary, nudged me again about going to the gym.
This time, the timing was right.
Side note: I've never been interested in the idea of paying someone or going someplace like the gym to suffer. I always thought it's a waste of money and where in the world will I find the motivation to go?
Her nudge and John's participation in trying out, lead all of us to the same gym with the same trainer.
Fast forward to the end of May, I officially entered my fit girl era and that big inspiration to be serious and see where my discipline could take me was seeing Mary, casually rolling into the gym one morning with her sleeping baby in the stroller to clock in some steps- her action alone showed me that there were no excuses!
Of course, the PT is most important- a great teacher is so hard to find and when you do, you know and it helps you to push forward. You really can't fake the vibe.
Longggggg story short...in 17months, I lost 10kgs.
I'm I was 1kg away from my initial goal I set when I first joined the gym but I've already made a new goal...that would be a total of 4kgs to go.
Can I get there by my birthday? We shall see...although I must say, that the sudden craving for pancakes has been at a all time high.
It's true when they say 80% is what you eat, 20% is exercising.
You have to control your food intake (eating the right way and finding balance with your fav food because you don't want to yo-yo).
By being disciplined in certain areas, I saw results and of cos, not everyone is happy with where I'm now... I'm now having to shut off haters who now says I look bad being thin (the same person who commented when I was heavier "did you eat your husband's meal too?")
Unless you are doing the work, you'll never know the struggle.
I've a new found respect for all my fit friends who are maintaining their fitness lifestyle.
It's the consistency, it's not a sprint...it's a life looong marathon.
p/s: Mary and I did our first official kettle bell workout today! It was short, sweet and I look forward to our next fit mom session. I can't believe i'm saying this but I'm truly enjoying my gym life.
